Wednesday, November 3, 2010

in which the dog is even more inbred and retarded

okay, so let's talk fable 3. I'll likely divide this up into 2 parts. I'm gonna start with the game itself, and the next post will be about lionhead in general, and the DLC issues.
so, why did fable 3 piss me off so much? well, it's just... it's like half a game. I once saw someone describe it as an expansion pack, and that's what it feels like. it's like they didn't quite finish it. there's a LOT of bugs and glitches. half the time, the breadcrumb trail (the thing that's supposed to direct you to quests) doesn't load, and sometimes it point's you in the wrong direction, just because of how they implemented it. it wasn't perfect in 2, but it seems to have actively gotten worse. I've had villagers freeze in place as I'm dragging them around, and monster spawn in place, and just not move, until I shoot them. it lags, horribly at times, but in fairness, my X-Box is a little old by this point, so it MAY not be the game. however, it's the first game in recent memory that lags like this. the dialog and subtitles will occasionally just cut out, too.
but, that's just the game in terms of programming and design. story-wise, it falls completely flat. the first while of game, up until about the halfway mark is really good, and I found some of it (surprisingly) compelling, it feels like they put all of their creative energy into that part, and everything after just sort of trails off. the ending is just... disappointing. the last boss isn't bad, but it isn't a challenge in the least. I had more trouble (which is to say very little) with the fights leading up to the boss, than the boss itself. which is really disappointing. I'm of the school of thought that the last boss should be the biggest, and hardest encounter in the game. it should be a challenge, it should be... epic. yet, this was bland. and the story just falls at that point. once you've beaten the boss it's just... over. no explanation of why it defeats the big bad, or why it's all over, it just is. it leaves you longing for something more... complete. and, I thought Fable 2's end was lacking, this was worse, which surprised me, as I thought that impossible.
oh, and let's not forget our furry, inbred friend, the dog. the dog didn't work great in the second one, but it was a good start. why they chose NOT to work on the dog, I'll never understand. he runs in circles, can't hind dig spots, and barks incessantly. he's either always underfoot, or nowhere to be seen. he embodies the worst outcome of what they were trying to accomplish. over the course of playing it, I grew to really hate the dog. at about the 30th dig spot, I wanted to put him in the hole and bury him.

oh, and it pains me to hear John Cleese used to shill lionhead's DLC every third time I go into the sanctuary. it's disgraceful, and cheap.

now, despite ALL of that, it's not a bad game, per say. it's just really really... unpolished and unfinished. it's DEFINITELY not worth the current price. maybe $30, maybe. but not nearly $70, if you're lucky. near $90 or $100 if you go with the collectors, which I don't recommend, mostly because of the DLC issues, which I'll talk about next post.


  1. interesting review , thanks i haven't got it yet gonna hold off , but im dissapointed about how they went about the game , thanks

  2. I played it and finished it a few weeks before release.

    Fuck yes JTAG

  3. I was actually gonna pick it up tomorrow, but I might just save my money now lol.

  4. Too bad the storyline isn't that good :(

  5. Well its still fun to play but maybe when price comes down ill get it.

  6. i hate dlc, it is too expensive

  7. So it's more like Fable 2.5 than 3?